『寄给一人』

也许大家会看不懂我在写些什么…

也许了解我的人都懂我在写给谁…

但我只知道，有一个人一定知道我在写给他～

写在我的部落，

只想告诉他，他在我心目中，很重要…

写在这里，是因为不懂要怎样跟你讲…

写信？不懂要怎样给他…

明讲？我没有这样的胆量…

所以，才想到我的部落～

我是个敏感的人～我承认…
所以，有一种想法：「你讨厌我吗？」
可能他会觉得我很白目…
但是，这是我察觉到的～
如果讲这句话是错的，麻烦他纠正我一下…

我跟他倾诉过主动很累，我不想了…
他讲说，他来主动好了，一切听他由命～
现在反而觉得更糟了…
到底是怎样的？
我也不清楚…
所以，我选择会变主动一点…
请不需要再为我操心～
因为我懂得调适心情了。

或许他真的讨厌我，
但原因不明。
可能，是报复我上次讨厌他吧～ 不过，应该没那么幼稚…
可能，是他发现了我处于另一面的可怖面貌～
可能，是他觉得陌生人终究回归陌生人会比较好吧～

不过，我真的很期待、也满怀念以前的点滴…
我有少少不想失去这么一个在好不过的朋友～
希望他看到后，能再次重现以往的生活积累～
至少，我会每天第一次下课在班上…
至少，我会每天第二次下课，等他个5分钟…（虽然有点傻）
就算只是打个招呼、闲聊，还是一起吃饭都好…
都值得知足和开心。

还有，当然要谢谢很多的人的鼓励和支持。
思苓、淑琳、芝萱、淑怡、耀宗、炳翰…
谢谢你们的耳朵…让我靠靠，减少了烦恼。

1st time wear con to skul..

第一次带隐型眼镜去学校…
哈哈～
其实已经不是第一次带了，早就试过了…
只是没人看过而已～lol

今天早上，第一个看到的人－－耀宗～
他给的反应有点搞笑咯…
我远远走过去，他就远远酱看了我很久…
要跟我打招呼又不要酱，因为他讲怕认错人喔～哈哈…＝.＝

然后，就班上的人一点也没察觉到…他们只是一直问「你的眼镜怎么了？」
过后只有芯何猜到咯…lol
然后，去找彬欣～
竟然看到思苓…她表情很惊讶酱～
彬欣不是慢半拍，而真的慢很多拍咯～等到第一次下课才来问我是不是带隐型眼镜…＝＝
lolx
回班就看到勇升～他有少少聪明叻…第一句就问我了～哈哈
都不懂为什么今天可以碰到酱多人的？！xDD

然后，第一次下课，
vaL的反应好大哦～
惊讶到她啊…
哈哈

然后，第二次下课跟耀宗一起吃咯～
又来，那些学会的人啊…
看到我好像看到动物园里面跑出来的猴子酱，一直看看看～
lol
真的有酱稀奇吗？
哈哈
还有，那个淑琳啊～讲我发俏…呵呵
顶！没有叻～

放学，荣烽不懂哪里收到消息…
很8酱～
跑来问我…
然后给我那种反应～
aiyor...
没眼看＝＝

我带隐型眼镜真的酱奇怪吗？
我不敢带了啦…
lol
表～～～～～～～～～～

今天，都几忙一下的喔～
第一节，物理…lolz～无言
然后，英文节presentation～哈哈…
我的英文蛮烂的～

还有叻，班上今天2个人都脖子扭到～
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈…（搞笑～）
幸佑、钰凌…
lolx
那时候，我也真的不懂要怎样帮你们咯～^^
所以，对不起叻…

第二次下课，跟耀宗还有他的组员一起吃…
结果，只有2个组员来～哈哈
可怜～～
然后，一堆初二的来…
浚维蛮冷的＝＝

很快的，学会来到上半年的最后一次了…
真的很快～
今天，『团康』
本来蛮期待的，结果…haiz～
勇升好像吃了慧慧老师的药酱…
无言＝＝
不过，蛮开心的…^^

学会过后，
队庆第一次开会…
哈哈，我还蛮兴奋的～lolx
不过，场面蛮冷的咯…
筹委们，high一点可以吗？哈哈…
不过，很满意的是…
他们每个人都很用心叻～
很快活动组就想到「开场」了…
哈哈，很funny的咯！

加油哦，筹委们！
等你们的好消息。
lol

having a tiring holiday nw..
1 of may~~labour day..

i'm nw studying mid-year exam for watever subject i can study..
try to be more confidence in exam..
so tired holiday wif those books..
felt sleepy too..
haha..
so hav a rest wif chocolate that my uncle brought from japan..
a production of meiji..
wow~delicious..^^

everyone..the mid-year is coming~~
fast fast go study lar..
reducing to use computer le..
tis's my advice~~
^^..lol

last exam before the mid-year

finally, today finish the exam before the mid-year..
of course the last exam is physics..lol

today, from morning to before test..
all the time..
discussing the concept with friends..
doin mechanics..
revising the maomao's note..

u noe..
maomao so wai..
our class will take the exam from 6th period to 2nd recess..
while 4s Xin will take the same exam from 2nd recess to 7th period..
but luckily 26 objective questions~~
haha..

so i'd a hope to pass le..
leave from the shadow of fail in previous physics test..
i'm reali reali happy lor..^^

「我知道」

发生好多事情…

今天，其实应该很忙的，
因为明天考物理…
可是却没心情做物理，所以也就没理它了～～

早上，淑怡、苑琳来找我…
给我队员资料表～～
然后就跟她们谈天。
然后，又陪淑怡找耀宗…
结果，整个早上就酱一直讲一直讲就用掉了…哈哈

然后上2节化学，「显」…
没听课…
就在那边想我的队庆要怎样咯～～哈哈
然后，婉雯又讲要去参加「民歌餐厅」…
所以大家又跟着一起讨论、一起颠～～哈哈
兴奋！

最好笑就是体育节～～
第一次晒晒酱考试…
听好来，考笔试哦…
是不是很好笑叻？
快点笑啦…哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
结果，不懂做么的圈错一题答案，所以只错一题咯～～

第二次下课，本来只是跟耀宗吃的…
结果在食堂看到一大班酱…
苑琳、淑怡、思苓、彬欣、嘉仪、素美…………
然后，吃完了，
那班人就过来，
最wai就是那个嘉仪咯…
用一个碗掺掺掺买那些不懂什么「汁」
啊～～～～～～
很wai啊！

放学，硬笔书法比赛…
哇！
乱乱写的…
有够丑咯…哈哈
还有，耀宗就去簿记比赛…
真希望他可以赢…
酱子他拿到76,000的话，就有得～～～
哈哈哈哈..lol

然后，更显，还要去开wilayah检讨会议…
其实，我有很多很多要讲的…
但是都，不想讲了…
免得伤了气氛～～
所以，就憋住了…『忍』
开完会，就和淑琳讨论学艺展的步操…
有够complicated的…lol
然后6点才回家～～

还有，今天一直听到「我知道」…
也开始会唱了…
我觉得不只好听，歌词短短的，可是却表达了很多很多…
所以很喜欢…
听到很想哭，很替她可怜的一首歌。

『我知道』…BY2
从来没想过 不能再和你牵手
委屈时候 没有你 陪着我心痛
一切都是我 太过骄纵 以为你会懂
一直忘了说 我有多感动

我知道你还是爱着我
虽然 分开的理由 我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以 即使到最后 还微笑着 要我加油

我知道你还放不下我
才会 在离开时 闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中 其实 这份爱没停过

State Competition 25.26.

『At Chong Hwa Independent High School』

25 April 2009.

A nervous and busy day. Having state competition of footdrill and uniform checking section.Yesterday busy preparing first aid materials and uniform with Beng Han until 12.30 midnight.LOL so ma fan to iron the uniform and packed them. Quite a big construction.

First period, I received a msg from Beng Han that I forgot to bring all AC's cap and belt to school. SHIT! I'm in a quite nervous that time. Call my mum immediately for those things. Thanks Beng Han reminded me as I really forgot cause our hand full with full-u in the morning.^^

Have a lunch at canteen. Changed full-u. Ready to register. Our tag, ACM. Mr Wang in a hot-tempered that day. Scare. Then having a brief by Mr Michael and Gengta. Then have uniform checking by Gengta. Quite scare for my lapor. Then we wait at quarantine room to be called for footdrill. Our steward - Chong Shan. LOL

Footdrill. I have no comment. The sergeant so brilliant and smart. He firstly commented on our teamwork~he say poor, we didn't have any co-operation. So lucky to be realised by both of them. And also he say that my command must clearer and don't like “singing”. And we need more practised.^^ I think it's a good job as we practised so little for footdrill.

That night, all AC sleep at my house. Quite anger with. So indisiplin and irregular act in my room. And also just keep chating but not discussing case. I really think to and tend to say 「Can u all go back home for chating?」I'm quite unhappy and angry. So me and Beng Han watch TV downstairs.^^ That night, we slept about 12 in the midnight.

26 April 2009.

Today have a big event. Long case and Short case. Quite happy didn't see the people that I don't wish to meet. Preparation not enough for cases. Quite nervous.But luckily Su Lim be our steward today.^^ ACM, we the first group to exist short case. Quite lucky and happy, I think. So relax am I to handle the case as I haven't ready and start my hardisk. Quite lucky again that I still remember something and calm to do. But Gengta just beside us. I'm quite scare.LOL.

Finally, all is OK. Just need to remember log-roll method to check spine.T.T Then, we wait and wait and wait and wait and wait............. for long case. But a long time. We have done our business within gents and ate all the biscuits that we brought. LOL. Hungry too. Lastly, we're the last team to exist long case. Very poor result to me, I think. This year abit different, 4 casualties with 4 first aider. No any helper can involved included number 5. WOW! So difficult. And the important thing we need to learned from this case is - triage. haiz. I'd forgot cause of nervous spirit.

Haiz. This year earn participating certificate again.T.T

chao feng>>chi kang>>meng chun>>wai yew>>beng han>>feng bin

「persis kumpulan tandus berkumpulan; persis pasukan tandus berpasukan.」

This is the team comment..

tis is my tag..「ACM 1」..lol

Appreciate.

recently, i think abot who should i appreciate to..
as many ppl help me and care abot me recently..lol
and the physics test has been delayed..^^

first, muz thx yew chung..cz he always be patient to listen to me to talk, to complain and so on..
and oso always accompany me to hav lunch..^^
thx ya yew chung..
dun always tat prolonged-face..smile lar~~lolx

secondly..thx to benghan..
thx him very very much..
a good guy in wilayah~~
thx ya..^^

then hav to thx my frienz..
yi ting..woan wen..hui qing..pan loong..jia ching..yin teng..chee pui..rayson..xiang ning..loyce..
a gang of frienz tat worthy and merit to be..
always listen me to complain and murmur too..
and some of them remind me dun cry again and be tough and strong..
and made me feel relax and happy..
thx a lot~~

yuan lin..wan yee..sherlyn..bin xin..sue yee..sulim..tze sien..jia min..
thx all these ppl in SJ..
yuan lin~~be happy and hope u and XX will be good again..gambateh!!
wan yee~~dun tat face again lar..someone'll scare de..SMILE~~
sherlyn~~a ppl tat always straighten my mind..
sulim and tze sien~~always 88 de and listen to my voice..and straighten my mind too..
jia min~~a good frienz in society..i always hear her voice..be happy oo!!
they all're good freinz..
reali is true~~lol
always help me..always listen to me..always care for my condition recently..always give guidance on my mind..
thx ya^^

then hav to thx someone too..
vaL..rong feng..yong sheng..mei qian..yi zhong..guo liang..
they're good committee..
vaL~~wat a good MIC..nice ppl..
rong feng~~walao!! dunno hw to say this mankind..lolx
guo liang~~thx a lot ur help when capricorns get in trouble..been my postman..^^

anyway..thx all these ppl alot especially yew chung~~
tis idea came out suddenly from my mind to call me appreciate..
lolz

空。

当最需要别人帮忙的时候，
没人会伸出援手。
因为，这个社会有够现实～～

但至少，会帮你的，仅仅就只有一个…
那个人才是你值得守护的。
那才是你生命中最重要的人～～

而我，蛮幸运的…
应该算是找到了。
当然，那些平时对我怎样的，
请不要对号入座。

『不要等到别人对你微笑后才面露笑容』
『不要等到被爱已久了才懂得爱的存在』
『不要等到觉得寂寞才发现对方的重要』
『不要等到拥有太多才懂得分享两个字』
『不要等到失败了才回忆起别人的忠告』
『不要等到别人真的受伤了才请求原谅』
『不要等到一切结束才希望挽回和补救』
『不要等到没了、分开了才来后悔莫及』

『有些事情不能说得太明白，会造成代沟』
『有些事情不能说得不明白，会造成误会』
『有些人不需要很了解，才不会造成困扰』
『有些人需要非常了解，才不会造成牵挂』

我真的很讨厌他啊！
非常非常…
真的不想再施予面对。
使我生命中留下不完美的句点～～
我真的很讨厌他！！

「有你没有我～」

也许是最好的形容词…

today juz finished marking the quiz in my hand..
recruits and essential paper~~
others at park min there..waiting results~~
lol..
dunno wat to say abot their result..
so poor~~
dunno wanna happy or angry?!
as the highest mark juz in the range of 35 and the lowest is 8 marks..

i can't believe that a st john member can gain tis kind of result in quiz..
sure they cheat us last saturday when me and park min scold them..
sure they didnt read book or study first aid~~
or maybe they studied but cant absorbed..=.='''

A qualified first aider..
not easy to take about..
first hav to pass the recruit year and pass BFA/EFA..
quite difficult..
but why nw our members cant answer even :: What is FIRST AID??
WHY?? WHY?? WHY??

i quite confused about..
maybe the next step that i'll take is..
do more test or practical or others to improve our society..
sure another quiz half yearly..
but maybe additional footdrill test~~practical first aid~~oral first aid~~
WOW..many many more idea come out..
LOL

at that time,
i wanna our st john stand up back..
as tough..as firm..

「OUR ST JOHN::OUR HOME」

一切，我都知道。

想很多；做很多；讲很多；听很多；
所以，感触很多…

我真的很不明白时下的小辈到底在想些什么…
为什么他们可以这么忍心欺负长辈？！
为什么他们一直在跟过去比较？
然而，他们的组长还要花心思去开导、去关心、去把握他们？
难道这些都是天经地义的吗？
有时候，很想问这些人…
「你们到底是活在以前还是现在的？」

既然，大家都活在现在…
那就应该好好把握现在，努力造就未来～～

『好马不吃回头草』

难道这句话还讲得不明吗？
「过去」，
只是让你回忆的元素…
只是让你更勇于进步的目标…
而不是让你们比较现在的个体和从前另一个个体的好坏…
所以，请这些人的脑袋思想不要跨越应有的界限。
更要珍惜眼前的现在和一切一切美好的事物。

当然要补充一句，
「若要人不知，除非己莫为。」
一切的事情，我都知道…
不需隐瞒，我都知道…
所以，做好自己的本分；
一切就足够了。

还有，听到某人讲某人很假，
跟我们平时看到的某人其实是不一样的…
我真的有少少吓到～～
难道某人的假只是要博取我们的关心？
我不知道…

当然，还有很多很多我所知道的，但讲不完…
终究一句，
顺其自然吧！

juz back home from 1U..
a late shopping from 4pm to 8.30pm~~
tiring..but happy..
cz today eat alot..almost full~~LOL
firstly, buy a new camera..sony cybershot T-90..
wow!! so nice..
HAPPY!!

then, hav dinner at Italiannies..
full wif juz a big plate of pasta and a 8 pieces pizza..
and shared wif 4 ppl tim..
so full~~^^
but i did a wrong thing..
i ordered a cup of espresso costed 6.80~~
and the most surprise is the coffee is so small and tiny in cup as i can shallow it in once..
T.T
so expensive and waste money..

and today morning de duty..
wah~~so sienz..
juz a tadika sport day..
but we sure'd find something to joy ourself lar..
talk something tat really shocked and realized me..lol
but tis time de duty is short period, so cant talk too much~~
and tis time we din eat mcdonald ady..lol..xDD

the tiny espresso at Italiannies~~
my dinner wif pasta and pizza..^^

局外人

『了解一个人是很痛苦的』

这…我知道，也非常清楚。
做个「局外人」，也许是我现在需要的…
请不要逼我～～

我不想再重蹈覆辙了；
我不想再投以感情了；
我更不想了解一个不值得我去了解的人了。
所以…我才选择了放弃。
这也许是你们要的答案。

或许，你们都很在乎，
但我真的真的不需要…
我需要的，不是你们能给的。
请让我静一静，相信时间会冲淡一切。
届时，你我或许陌生了…
大家会好过一点。
不要再执著于我的答案了，我的答案并不重要。

既然仨人已经关系密切，那就不要被「局外人」所影响到吧。
做回自己，做回圈子中的自己，比较快乐。
「局外人」就随他吧；
不需要被他影响，更不需要理会他什么；
更不需要走进「局外人」的世界，尝试了解他。
就算没有了所有，但相信他还是会活得很好…
因为他已经习惯了失去、失去，又再失去的滋味。

他…真的习惯了。
他…真的麻木了。
请不要再担心什么了。

Bustle Day.

Today have a busy day. No time to read books as got much of things to do~~

Morning, have to duty at first aid room.
What a troublesome stuff to me as today have many test.
Then, go to sulim's class take documents.
Yeah! We hav get the CRAFT result. We passed~~

First recess, I don't have mood to read or study trigo as trigo test is goin at 4th period.
Go sulim's class to give back the document to her as signed by teacher.
I'm surprised afengzz is there.
Then, have a chat and discuss with both of them. Happy~~lols

then have trigo test..quite easy lor..but~~still can't get full marks..xDD
after 2nd recess, have to attend essay writing competition..
of course is bahasa Melayu de lar..
write till 3 pages lorr..^^

then have moral test at 10th period..lol
a funny test tat's a secret..

after school, have wilayah training again..
frustrated and hesitated~~
haiz..
I juz hope the state competition can over as fast as possible..
dun like recently scenario..
dun like to bother everything~~